PRICE  20  CENTS. 


Copyi-lghted.  All  Right*  Reserved. 


fl  FEW  FACTS  FROM  MY  LIFE 

- - AS-  - 

Father  Superior 

-■OF  A-- 

Monastery  In  Spain 


--AND  AS 


/?pof>tolic  ^fPi^ionapcj  in  ft npepica. 


By  DON  MANUEL  FERRANDO. 


i. 


1896. 

Mirror  Printing  House. 
Stamford,  N.  Y. 


• '*<  . : i a . i 


c°l'  V'-ight  I 8D6,  by 


all  rights  RErr  ). 


A FEV  FACTS 


FROM 

/AY  LIFE. 


I 


As  not  all  who  read  this  paper  have  seen  the  various  extracts  from 
my  biography  published  by  the  Venezuelan  and  American  press,  I beg 
leave  to  present  the  following  resume: 

Seeking  something  far  more  satisfactory  than  that  which  could  be 
found  in  so-called  “Society,”  I withdrew,  in  the  year  1888,  from  “the 
world,”  burying  myself  in  the  cloistered  solitude  of  the  Capuchin  con- 
vent of  Olleria,  Spain. 


2 


Of  this  step  my  family  knew  nothing  until  it  had  been  taken,  when 
their  most  strenuous  efforts,  and  their  use  of  the  most  influential  means 
could  not  induce  me  to  leave  the  cloister.  They  then  appealed  to  his 
Eminence,  Senor  Don  Dr.  Antolin  Monecillo,  then  Cardinal  of  Valencia 
— now  Primate  of  Spain — a particular  friend  of  my  family,  to  lend  his 
powerful  influence. 

Whereupon  this  prelate  proceeed  to  Rome  in  order  to  represent 
properly  the  disappointment  of  my  family,  and  the  advisability  of  pla- 
cating them  by  interdicting  the  entry  of  their  eldest  son  into  an  order 
of  Monks  so  rigorous  as  that  of  the  Capuchins. 

The  most  Reverend  Father  Joachim  de  Llevaernas,  Commissary  Gen- 
eral of  this  order  in  Spain,  and  the  most  Reverend  Father  Bernardo  de 
Audermatt,  General  of  the  Order,  together  with  Cardinal  Massaya, 
himself  a Capuchin,  in  a conference  with  Leo  XIII,  on  the  9th  day  of 
July  of  the  same  year,  obtained  from  his  Holiness  the  Pope,  a special 
grace  which  never  before  had  been  conceeded,  and  this  was,  that  the 
usual  year  of  the  Novitiate  be  dispensed  with,  and  that  I proceed  at  once 
to  utter  my  monastic  vows,  with  the  sole  condition,  that  in  the  presence 
of  two  witnesses,  I swear  that,  spontaneously,  of  my  free  will,  I adopted 
the  monastic  life. 

Meantime  Cardinal  Monecillo  received  no  answer,  and  my  family 
without  hope  of  thus  gaining  the  desired  result,  turned  to  the  Civil 
Governor  of  Valencia,  who  promptly  repaired  to  the  convent,  having 
the  power  to  withdraw  me  from  the  same.  But  on  his  arrival,  he  was 
presented  by  the  friars  with  the  official  record  of  my  profession  and 
vows,  made  and  registered  one  week  before ; together  with  a bull  of 
his  Holiness  excommunicating  any  person  who  in  any  way  should  seek 
to  promote  an  anti-monastic  spirit  in  my  family,  or  ally  himself  with 
those  who,  by  means  of  the  civil  authority,  would  strive  to  frustrate  my 
declared  desires. 

In  view  of  this,  the  Governor  desisted  from  all  further  efforts. 

My  Father  then  submitted  the  whole  matter  to  the  Queen,  seeking 
through  her  to  obtain  from  Leo  XIII,  a decree  anulling  my  profession 
of  Monastic  vows. 

But  before  this  could  be  effected,  the  General  of  the  Capuchins, 
during  his  visit  of  eight  days  at  my  home,  by  means  of  his  Jesuitical 
arguments  gained  such  an  influence  over  my  Father,  that  he  gave  up  his 
opposition,  and  consented  to  go  with  the  General  to  make  me  a visit  at 
the  convent. 


liy  pontificial  brief  I was  released  from  the  observance  of  the  rules 
and  discipline,  so  prejudicial  to  any  delicate  physicial  constitution,  al- 
though / preferred  to  endure  these.  Other  personal  privileges  followed 
in  quick  succession,  the  documentary  certificates  of  which  I have  care- 
fully preserved,  in  order  to  prove  their  authority  and  authenticity. 

1'hese  were  submitted  to  public  scrutiny,  under  direction  of  Rev.  f. 
Balcom  Shaw,  1 >.  IT,  my  beloved  pastor  in  New  York  City. 

The  same  distinctions  with  which  Rome  honored  me  on  my  entering 
the  cloister,  were  accorded  me  at  my  ordination  as  Priest  : which  by 
special  pontificial  dispensation  I received  while  yet  under  the  prescrib- 
ed age,  and  without  passing  through  the  lower  degrees  of  novitate  and 
deacon. 

I intoned  my  first  mass  in  Antequera,  my  sponsors  being  the  very  ex- 
cellent Lady  the  Countess  widow  de  Col<  hado,  my  Mother's  aunt  ; also 
Don  Francisco  Romero  Robledo,  Prime  Minister  of  Spain,  an  intimate 
triend  of  my  Father  ; while  the  Marquis  de  Vega  de  Armijo  presented 
tor  my  signature  the  writing  of  my  emancipation  from  all  relation  to  my 
family,  and  for  the  renunciation  of  my  patrimony  and  all  civil  rights  of 
primogeniture.  No  act  of  inv  life  appeared  to  me  so  sublime,  none  ever 
so  satisfied  my  heart,  as  this,  in  which,  by  a stroke  of  the  pen,  I dis- 
possessed myself  of  everything  to  follow  Christ,  (as  1 thought.) 

After  this  I was  inducted  into  the  chair  of  Theology  in  the  Convent 
of  Antequera.  Then  with  little  delay  I was  appointed  Commissary  of 
the  third  order  of  Capuchins  for  the  Provinces  of  Granada,  Malaga, 
Sevilla,  Cordova,  Jaen,  Badajoz  and  Huelva.  These  distinctions  gave 
me  honor  during  my  connection  with  the  Church  of  Rome,  but  of  these 
I do  not  intend  to  make  a boast,  nor  does  this  occasion  require  any  os- 
tentation. 


II. 


Wliy  did  I Become  a Monk;? 


The  strict  religious  education  which  I received  from  a very  early  age, 
tended  powerfully  to  fix  an  inclination  towards  the  most  perfect  life, 
so  firmly  in  my  soul,  that  it  amounted  even  to  a desire  for  sacrifice. 

The  Jeusits,  entrusted  with  the  direction  of  my  conscience  endeav- 


4 


ored  to  strengthen  this  predisposition  of  my  mind,  by  means  of  their 
well-known  duplicity. 

My  Mother,  having  an  unlimited  devotion  to  the  Order,  and  desiring 
to  give  me  all  possible  means  of  obtaining  a complete  Christian  educa- 
tion and  a perfect  intellectual  discipline,  placed  me,  when  I had  scarce- 
ly completed  my  eighth  year,  in  one  of  the  schools  directed  by  the 
Jusuit  Fathers. 

Although  my  Mother’s  desire  was  respected  by  all  the  family,  because 
she  was  the  object  of  their  affection,  nevertheless,  her  action  displeased 
some  of  my  relatives,  who,  because  they  were  not  devoted  to  the  Jesuits 
were  afraid  these  would  exert  too  great  an  influence  over  me,  causing 
me  to  believe  my  only  salvation  lay  in  joining  their  order.  This  pre- 
sentiment of  one  of  the  principal  members  of  my  family  became  in 
time  a reality. 

When  I was  fifteen  years  old,  on  returning  to  my  home  for  the  vaca- 
tion, after  having  passed  my  examinations,  my  whole  manner  revealed 
that  my  soul  had  fallen  under  the  spell  of  Jesuitical  mysticism. 

Every  year,  on  my  arrival  at  home,  in  the  summer  vacation,  there  oc- 
curred in  the  family  a scene,  the  memory  of  which  will  never  cease  to 
move  my  soul  and  fill  it  with  delight. 

After  the  first  transports  of  joy,  I presented  to  my  Mother  the  liter- 
ary prizes  obtained  by  my  diligence  during  the  year,  and  thus  received 
from  her  another  prize,  with  an  expression  of  love,  which  brought  to 
me  worlds  of  happiness.  The  gift  of  my  Father  consisted  in  granting 
any  special  favor  I might  ask  of  him. 

In  the  year  to  whjch  I refer  at  the  time  of  giving  him  my  Bachelor’s 
diploma,  I asked  of  him  the  privilege  of  entering  the  company  o^ 
Jesus.  My  Father  was  greatly  shocked,  and,  for  the  first  time,  broke 
his  word.  All  the  family  were  much  moved,  and  as  my  mother  was  al- 
ways accompanied  by  her  Chaplain,  Father  Jose  Gavila,  my  Father, 
fearing  that  during  the  summer  he  would  strengthen  me  in  my  desire, 
felt  himself  obliged  to  send  me  to  spend  the  vacation  with  my  uncles. 

My  Father  would  not  give  me  permission  to  go  to  a Jesuit  University, 
and  from  that  time  I had  as  confessor  l)r.  Don  Juan  Bautista  Sendray- 
Mut,  Royal  Chaplain  of  the  Basillica  of  Alicante. 

My  Mother,  in  spite  of  her  admiration  for  the  order,  forbade  me,  not 
only  to  think  again  of  becoming  a Jesuit,  but  even  to  be  intimate  with 
them,  prescribing  for  me  a certain  prudent  reserve  to  be  used  in  their 
company. 


In  Spain,  six  years  of  study  are  required  to  graduate  a Lawyer.  My 
first  year  of  reading  Law,  I passed  in  (Iraanda,  and  there,  free  from 
the  servile  yoke  of  the  Jesuits,  I entered  into  social  life,  and  my  former 
religious  mysticism  disappeared  entirely. 

A few  years  after  this  1 was  pursuing  my  studies  in  the  University  of 
Madrid.  There  I was  found  by  Father  San/  and  again  came  under  the 
spiritual  direction  of  the  Jesuits.  Notwithstanding,  not  until  the  death 
of  my  beloved  Mother  did  I again  think  of  the  Cloister. 


Ill 


Why  did  I Choose  the  Order  of  the 
Capuchins? 

Jesuitical  training  had  exaggerated  the  extreme  sensitiveness  of  my 
conscience  and  intensified  my  spirit  of  abnegation  to  such  a degree, 
that  my  desire  for  perfection  obliged  me  to  aspire  to  a sancity  greater 
than  that  I had  seen  among  them. 

1 did  not  know  any  other  Monks,  except  the  barefooted  Carmelites 
of  “Desierto  de  las  Palmas,”  (the  Desert  of  Palms)  in  the  Province  of 
“ Castellon  de  la  Plana,'*  where,  a few  years  previous,  I had  been  with 
mv  mother;  and,  in  truth,  I liked  them  more  than  the  Jesuits. 

After  my  Mother’s  death,  while  I was  meditating  on  the  mode  of  life 
1 ought  to  adopt  in  order  to  secure  the  best  good  of  her  soul  and  mine, 
a rare  coincidence  placed  me  in  contact  with  the  Capuchins. 

On  the  fifteenth  of  October,  1S86,  I saw  in  the  streets  of  Paris,  an 
aged  Capuchin,  whose  humble  exterior  presented  an  aspect  of  the  most 
perfect  sanctity.  Social  exigences  did  not  permit  me  to  speak  to  him 
then,  but  an  hour  later,  in  the  sacristy  of  Notre  Dame,  1 gave  him  my 
card,  begging  an  interview.  The  same  night  I went  to  the  Convent  of 
the  Capuchins. 

Father  Hilario  received  me.  I did  not  wish  to  miss  the  opportunity 
of  offering  a tribute  of  regard  to  this  Capuchin  for  whom  I still  have 
heartfelt  sympathy. 

Father  Hilario  is  a son  of  one  of  the  most  enlightened  families  in 
Paris.  Cifted  with  singular  intelligence,  he  knows  how  to  unite  the 


modesty  of  the  monk,  with  the  aristocratic  culture  which  captivates  all 
with  whom  he  comes  in  contact.  The  University  of  Paris  has  honored 
him  with  the  title  of  Doctor  of  Philosophy  and  Civil  Right,  and  Rome, 
with  an  excommunication  of  his  works,  which,  in  my  opinion,  is  the 
greater  honor  to  his  intelligence. 

Father  Hilario  gave  me  the  address  of  some  Spanish  Capuchins,  the 
Statutes  of  the  Order,  and  the  lives  of  the  Capuchin  Saints. 

Retirement  from  the  world  ; a life  of  constant  prayer,  penitence  and 
abnegation,  like  that  of  the  son  of  Asisi,  all  conspired  in  deciding  me  to 
join  the  order  of  the  Capuchins,  which  was  favored  with  peculiar  Papal 
privileges. 


IV 


What  are  tlie  Peculiarities  of  tlie 
Capuchin  Order? 

The  Capuchin  Order  is  the  last  of  many  reformations  of  the  grand 
family  of  Franciscans. 

Maseo  de  Bassi,  as  the  chronicles  say,  seeing  even  as  Luther  did,  the 
corruption  of  the  monasteries  and  their  limitless  transgression  of  jus- 
tice and  holiness,  separated  himself  from  the  reformation  called  the 
“ Observancia,”  that  he  might  keep  the  rules  of  St.  Francis  in  their 
primitive  purity. 

'1'he  persecutions  suffered  by  the  Protestants  at  the  hands  of  the 
Roman  Church,  cannot  be  compared  with  those  of  Maseo  and  his  fol- 
lowers at  the  hands  of  the  “Observantes."  Read  the  chronicles  of  the 
Capuchins  and  if  you  are  not  scandalized  it  is  a sure  sign  you  have  no 
religious  feeling,  and  hold  human  dignity  of  little  value. 

Such  persecutions  are  going  on  even  to-day,  but  the  nature  of  this 
paper  does  not  permit  me  to  speak  of  them  fully,  as  a complete  exposi- 
tion of  them  will  be  found  in  my  book  entitled  “Why  I Left  the 
Roman  Church,  or  the  Experiences  of  a Spanish  Monk.” 

The  peculiarity  of  the  Capuchin  Order  consists,  then,  according  to 
the  first  Article  of  the  Rule  given  by  St.  Francis  in  “keeping  the  Holy 
Evangel  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  and  living  in  Obedience,  Poverty, 


and  Chastity."  This  life  is  midway  between  Contemplative  and  the 
Active,  and  should  have  as  its  chief  end,  the  sincere  preaching  of  the 
Gospel  : but  to-day  its  chief  end  is  to  extend  the  Empire  of  the  l’ope, 
and  to  hide  the  crimes  of  Rome. 

'Pile  Capuchin  Convents  are  the  prisons  of  Priests  whom  the  bishops 
send  there  with  secret  administrative  orders  to  exercise  upon  them  in- 
quisitorial laws. 

In  these  Monasteries  are  invented  all  the  stories  of  visions  and  mi- 
racles, which  serve  to  captivate  the  people. 

The  Pope  has  no  confidence  in  the  Jesuits,  but  lie  holds  the  Capu- 
chins as  the  “first  soldiers  to  guard  his  frontiers  " (as  said  Leo  XIII  in 
a letter  to  us  written  at  the  time  of  the  canonization  of  San  I.orenzo  de 
Brudisium.) 

Obedience  to  Rome  is  such  among  the  Capuchins  that  St.  Francis 
prescribes  in  his  Rule,  the  confinement  of  everyone  who  i>  found  in- 
fected with  heresy;  establishing  the  dignity  of  the  Custodian,  whose 
obligation  it  is  to  watch  day  and  night  those  who  oppose  the  orders  of 
the  Pope,  and  present  them  personally  to  Rome. 

I think  this  is  the  reason  why  the  Capuchin  Order  does  not  register 
more  than  two  Apostates,  Bernardino  de  Occhino  in  1542,  and  the  au- 
thor of  this  article.  And  we  have  escaped  with  our  lives  only  because 
lie  sought  a refuge  in  Geneva,  and  I among  the  noble  sons  of  the  great 
Republic  of  North  America;  or  perhaps  because  of  him  it  was  possible 
to  say,  what  has  been  said  of  me  by  an  Archbishop  of  the  Roman 
■Church;  “nothing  in  the  life  of  Senior  Ferrando  indicated  that  he 
•could  reach  the  point  of  becoming  an  Apostate.” 

A special  pious  characteristic  of  the  Capuchins  is  the  adoration  of 
Mary,  and  the  propagation  of  her  worship.  Every  Saturday  they  feast 
in  honor  of  her  and  hftve  the  special  privilege  of  saying  the  Mass  of 
the  Immaculate  Conception,  which  the  Chureh  in  general  celebrates 
only  on  the  eighth  of  December.  They  have  other  especial  privileges 
of  blessing  pictures,  medallions  and  scapularies  of  the  Virgin. 

The  habit  of  the  Capuchins,  according  to  the  second  chapter  of  the 
■Constitution,  should  be  of  rough  cloth  in  the  form  of  a cross  with  a 
“ Capucho,”  or  cowl  attached,  and  girt  with  a coarse  rope.  No  friar  can 
have  more  than  one  habit. 

A candidate  wishing  to  incorporate  himself  in  the  order,  makes 
known  his  desire  to  the  Superior,  who,  after  securing  all  necessary  in- 
formation, obtains  from  the  Bishop  a guarantee  of  his  good  conduct. 


The  day  of  ingress  is  a day  of  feasting  in  the  Convent,  celebrated 
with  one  or  two  unusual  ceremonies,  and  a larger  allowance  of  wine 
than  that  ordinarily  used  under  the  name  of  “a  little  swallow”  (tra- 
guito.)  The  ceremony  of  presenting  the  garments  is  as  follows: 

All  the  community  gather  about  the  circular  platform  in  the  Church 
which  is  called  the  Presbytery.  The  habit  of  the  new  candidate  is 
spread  on  the  floor,  having  around  it  four  lighted  candles.  The  bell 
tolls,  as  if  for  the  dead,  and  the  Church  is  draped  in  black.  After  the 
company  has  prayed  a few  brief  moments,  the  Superior  appears  dressed 
in  his  pontifical  robes,  bringing  with  him  the  new  candidate.  If  he  is 
to  become  a “Father”  (Priest)  the  tonsure  is  already  made;  a Lay 
brother  requires  none. 

The  Superior  ascends  to  his  chair  and  two  monks  take  the  candidate 
and  lay  him  on  the  habit  as  though  he  were  dead.  Over  his  outstretch- 
ed form  another  Father,  elected  by  the  Superior,  preaches  a sermon  on 
the  necessity  of  dying  to  the  world  and  its  pomps  and  vanities  in  order 
to  live  wholly  consecrated  to  “the  Church,”  which  is  the  Kingdom  of 
Christ.  At  the  close  of  this  moving  address,  the  Superior  intones  a 
hymn,  in  which  all  the  company  join,  and  then  disrobes  the  aspirant 
and  reclothes  him  in  the  habit.  Now,  dressed  in  his  monkish  garb 
he  turns  towards  the  Superior  and  kneeling,  kisses  his  feet  and 
hands.  Then,  greeting  the  Fathers  and  Bi  others  with  an  embrace,  he 
goes  with  the  other  Novices  to  the  “ Noviciado,”  which  is  a place  sepa- 
rated from  the  common  edifice,  where  he  remains  confined  for  a year, 
without  being  allowed  tcf  speak  even  to  the  Monks,  or  to  write  or  re- 
ceive letters  or  messages  from  anyone,  until  his  profession. 

To-day  the  roughness  and  coarseness  of  the  habit  has  disappeared, 
and  every  friar  has  as  many  habits,  made  of  as  fine  cloth  as  the  riches 
of  his  family  or  friends  allow. 

Our  readers  will  not  take  it  amiss  if  we  give  them  but  a brief  glimpse 
of  convent  life. 

The  convents  contain  as  many  Monks  as  their  capacity  will  allow. 
There  are  separate  convents  for  Novices,  Choristers  and  Regulars. 
The  first  besides  the  community  of  the  Monks  contains  a separate 
building  for  the  Novices.  The  second  is  for  the  Choristers  who  having 
completed  their  Noviciate  in  another  convent,  are  removed  hither  to 
finish  their  Monastic  studies.  There  is  another  class  of  friars,  who 


make  the  three  great  vows,  and  are  called  “ Lay  Brothers,"  and  who  are 
charged  with  the  domestic  duties  of  the  convent.  % 

The  rule  of  the  Capuchin  Convents  is  that  all  should  rise  at  midnight 
to  recite  Matins  and  Landes,  but  to-day,  in  scarcely  any  convent  is  this 
rule  observed  except  in  those  of  the  Novices.  Still,  in  order  that  the 
people  may  not  note  this  fault,  the  bell  man  never  fails  to  toll  the  bell 
upon  the  stroke  of  twelve. 

At  one  o’clock  they  retire  to  sleep  until  quarter  before  five,  when  all 
rise  and  go  to  the  Choir.  The  morning  service  is  begun  by  the  Su- 
perior, who  recites  once  the  Ave  Maria,  which,  according  to  the  custom 
of  the  Capuchins,  is  repeated  every  hour;  these  all  join  in  repeating  the 
Angelus,  and  three  Ave  Marias  to  the  Virgin,  and  the  Litany  of  all  the 
Saints,  after  which,  two  monks,  kneeling  before  the  chair  of  the  Superior, 
hold  up  to  him  a ritual  from  which  he  reads  prayers  for  the  extermi- 
nation of  heretics,  prosperity  of'the  Church,  and  health  of  the  lJope. 
Then  one  of  the  Choristers  reads  the  meditation  for  the  day,  which  must 
be  on  the  Passion  of  our  Lord  ; all  the  lights  are  extinguished  and  the 
whole  company  remain  in  rigorous  silence  until  six  o’clock.  At  half 
past  five  masses  are  begun,  according  to  the  order  prescribed  by  the 
Superior  at  the  beginning  of  the  week, on  a tablet  in  which  the  names  of 
all  the  Fathers  are  written.  A few  at  a time,  the  Fathers  steal  out  of 
the  Choir  and  perform  a silent  mass  at  the  different  altars  in  the  main 
part  of  the  church. 

At  six  o’clock,  the  Superior  recites  the  Ave  Maria,  and  retires  from 
the  Choir,  while  the  Fathers  chant  in  scarcely  audible  voices  Prima  and 
Tertia. 

As  soon  as  these  Latin  prayers  are  begun,  the  Lay  Brothers  leave  the 
Choir.  (The  prayers  of  the  Lay  Brothers  consist  in  reciting  the  Pater 
Noster  twenty-five  tunes  for  the  Matins,  five  times  for  Landes,  and  seven 
times  for  each  of  the  hours,  Prima,  Tertia,  Sexta  and  Nona,  twelve  times 
for  Vespers,  and  seven  times  for  “Completas,”  at  the  close  of  the  day.) 

When  Tertia  is  over,  which  is  at  half-past  six,  the  Conventual  Mass  is 
recited,  which  formerly  used  to  be  said  for  the  souls  of  benefactors  of  the 
Convent,  but  is  now  only  repeated  for  gain. 

After  this,  all  who  are  not  engaged  in  saying  mass  go  to  the  Refectory 
and  take  chocolate  ; then  the  Brothers  separate.  Some  go  to  work  in 
the  vegetable  gardens,  others  to  beg  alms  in  the  city,  and  others  to  the 
different  offices  of  tailor,  cook,  and  shoemaker.  The  Fathers  must  pass 
the  day  in  confession  and  study. 


10 


At  eleven  the  bell  is  rung,  and  the  Fathers  and  Choristers  flock  to  the 
Choir  to  recite  Sexta  and  Nona. 

Half-past  eleven  is  the  hour  for  dinner,  which  consists  of  sou)),  meat 
and  vegetables,  accompanied  by  desert.  In  all  the  convents  wine  is  al- 
lowed. 

After  dinner  all  kneel  before  the  Superior  who  is  seated  in  his  chair, 
and,  beginning  with  the  youngest,  each  makes  his  confession  in  this 
way:  “ M)  Farher  I confess  my  faults  ; I am  a wicked  monk,  not  per- 

forming my  obligations  then  he  names  some  special  offense  and  is 
given  a penance  by  the  Superior.  One  of  the  Fathers  then  reads  a 
chapter  from  the  New  Testament  in  Latin,  and  a Chorister  reads  a story 
of  the  Saints,  or  a portion  of  the  Chronicles  of  the  Order. 

The  afternoon  is  passed  in  the  same  way  as  the  morning  until  six 
o’clock  when  prayers  are  recited.  At  seven  supper  is  served,  and  after 
that  there  is  an  hour  of  recreation,  when  the  Fathers  may  converse  with 
Fathers,  brothers  with'Brothers,  and  Choristers  with  Choristers.  At  nine 
o’clock  all  in  the  Convent  should  be  asleep. 

I his  in  short,  is  life  in  the  Monastery  according  to  the  Rule  of  the 
Order,  but  on  entering  the  Monasteries  of  to-day  one  finds  that  theactual 
practice  is  far  different.  This  is  why  good  Monks  find  life  unbearable  ; 
all  their  illusions  concerning  the  Monastic  system  are  dispelled  as  soon 
as  they  have  seen  the  inward  corruptions  of  these  institutions. 

It  seems  to  me  that  the  hard  walls  of  the  Convent  of  the  Magdalena 
then  received  and  will  ever  bear  the  record  of  my  tears  and  my  afflic- 
tions as  I was  imprisoned  in  their  precints, without  hope  or  consolation 
They  might  tell  how  my  spirit  suffered  when  I saw  the  virtuous  Father 
Bernardino  leave  the  convent  never  to  be  heard  of  by  us  again. 

There,  in  the  same  convent  lived  such  men  as  the  infamous  Father 
Reos,  who  mixed  potions  for  his  victims,  that  with  their  bodies  certain 
scandals  might  be  buried  in  the  silence  of  the  grave.  (See  chap.  6, 
Vol.  i,  in  my  work  “The  Three  Phases  of  Life,’’ which  contains  extracts 
from  the  original  documents  and  papers.”) 

O,  God,  how  could  1 remain  in  a Monastery  the  scene  of  such  crimes, 
and  in  a community  so  depraved  ! 

There  1 saw  what  I never  could  have  imagined  until  1 gained  an 
inside  view 

While  1 was  Secretary  of  the  Superior  General  of  the  Capuchins  in 
Spain,  a secret  order  from  the  Sacred  College  of  Cardinals  obliged  me, 
against  my  will,  and  contrary  to  the  rules  of  theCapuchins,  to  undertake 


II 


a most  delicate  political  commission  favoring  the  election  as  deputy  of 
a certain  favorite  of  Rome.  A crime  committed  by  Monks  of  the  Mona- 
stery of  Antique™  was  such  as  to  throw  this  town  into  extreme  excite- 
ment, as  is  yet  to  be  seen  in  the  reports  and  remarks  of  the  newspapers 
of  that  day.  But  why  go  into  the  sickening  detailsof  the  many  outrages 
to  morality  and  social  purity? 

Time  fails  me  here  to  state  the  defilement  and  red-handed  sin,  of  sur  h 
men  as  Father  Nicholas  who  was  expelled  for  a social  crime,  and  he 
departed  discharged  a revolver  at  the  Superior;  Father  Prudencio  equally 
shameless  and  guilty  ; Father  Carlos  a beastly  sot  as  well  as  a monster  of 
iniquity.  What  shall  be  said  of  the  nameless  deeds,  the  infamous  < 'in- 
ning, the  brutality  of  the  Monastic  system,  which,  instead  of  making  men 
holy,  by  its  prison  severity  of  discipline  and  its  worse  than  prison  m >rals 
infuses  even  in  good  men,  the  spirit  and  compels  the  acts  of  Convicts 
The  details  of  these  notorious  scandals  known  to  myself,  together  with 
the  documentary  evidence  of  the  same,  I reserve  for  publication  in  my 
work  to  be  published  later,  entitled  “Convent  Life  Revealed”  by  a 
Superior  of  the  Capuchin  Order  in  Spain. 

Oh  hearts  in  which  any  feeling  lingers,  why  have  you  proscribed  me  '? 
Why  call  me  “ Apostate  ” and  “ infamous  ! ” Is  it  not  a free  and  pure 
conscience  which  demands  a separation  from  such  despicable  beings  ' 
Is  it  not  the  very  voice  of  my  tender  Mother,  which  in  the  sorrowful 
nights  I passed  in  the  Cloister,  bathed  in  tears,  and  bitterness  of  spirit, 
called  to  me  : “Go  forth,  my  son,  go  forth  for  the  love  of  God,  before 
whom  you  have  bowed  the  knee,  for  the  love  of  your  own  soul,  and  for 
your  love  to  me  ! Go,  tarry  not,  least  the  tainted  air  of  that  foul  slough 
defile  you,  and  destroy  the  good  seed  which,  with  so  much  care,  I labored 
to  sow  in  your  heart,  from  the  first  years  of  your  life  ! ” 

Do  you  need  further  evidence  ? 1 will  say  to  you,  that,  after  becoming 

Superior  I saw  that  I was  in  danger  of  losing  my  self  respect,  as  it  seemed 
impossible  in  the  circumstances  to  act  with  any  sincerity. 

Only  two  facts  are  needed  to  prove  the  actual  state  of  the  Convents  : 
The  Very  Reverend  Father  Jose  de  Monovar,  Povincial  Vicar  of  Spain 
said  to  one  of  my  relatives  ; “ If  before  becoming  a Monk  I could  have 
imagined  what  exists  in  Convents,  and  what  I see’in  them,  I never  would 
have  entered  one.”  He  himself  wrote  me  a letter  which  I copy  here 
literatim  : 

Reverend  Father  Eduardo  de  Pego,  Superior  of  the  Convent  of 
Sanlucar  de  Barrameda  : 


12 

Orihuela,  June  7,  1893. 

My  Dear  Father  ; 

I have  received  your  Reverence’s  estimable  favor  in  which  you  are 
pleased  to  acknowledge  the  receipt  of  the  decree  of  my  appointment  as 
Vicar  Provincial. 

I thank  your  Reverence  very  warmly  for  your  felicitation,  for  it  was 
an  act  of  special  courtesy  characteristic  of  your  Reverence,  and  a token 
of  good  will  toward  me,  but,  this  aside,  does  it  appear  to  you,  dear  Father 
a cause  of  satisfaction  to  assume  a burden  so  heavy  in  the  actual  circum- 
stances ? I have  indeed  accepted  it,  but  only  because  of  my  obligation 
of  “ Floly  Obedience,”  (blind  submission  to  Superiors.) 

Another  letter  from  the  Most  Reverend  Father  Calasanz,  Counsellor 
of  the  Congregation  of  the  Propaganda  Fide,  the  Holy  Office,  Bishops 
and  Regulars  (Special  Secret  Court  for  adjudicating  all  cases  arising  in 
the  different  orders  of  Monks)  and  Examiner  of  the  Roman  Clergy, 
which  he  addressed  to  me  and  which  I still  have  in  my  possession.  He 
writes  as  follows  : 

“Having  submitted  to  us  with  evidence,  and  by  means  of  authentic 
documents  that  there  exists  in  the  Province  of  Toledo,  a low  conspiracy, 
and  plots  against  the  authority  and  prestige  of  the  Courier  General,  and 
the  Superiors  General,  and  their  delegates  and  coadjutors  ; we  wish 
your  Reverence  to  bring  and  present  to  us  the  documents  and  letters,  all 
and  several,  which  you  have  received  since  your  election  as  Superior, 
whatever  the  character  of  the  authors  of  these  documents  and  letters,  in 
which  are  treated  matters  of  Provincial  Elections,  Government  of  the 
Order  in  General,  or  in  the  Province  of  Toledo,  or  of  Superiors  General 
or  of  the  Courier  General,  or  of  delegates  of  the  same. 

Use  all  means  within  your  power,  and  1 exhort  you  to  proceed  without 
fear  or  favor  and  without  personal  scruples  in  this  matter,  and  that 
wherever  you  discover  an  indication  of  any  possible  evidence  for  my 
government,  do  whatever  seems  to  you  best  fot  the  same,  and  to  this  end 
1 give  you  the  order  of  “ Holy  Obedience.” 

“The  honor  of  the  Superiors  General  is  to  be  regarded  above  all  things, 
and  I promise  to  you  the  most  inviolable  secrecy." 

Thus,  in  the  state  in  which  every  dispassionate  reader  cati  imagine  me, 
my  spirit  tortured  with  doubts  and  sorrows,  I was  compelled  to  drag  out 
a life  pitiful  enough.  1 turned  to  my  God  ; I cried  to  Heaven  for  light 
which  should  indicate  to  me  what  1 ought  to  do,  but  the  heavens  seemed 
brass  above  my  head  and  upon  my  agitated  conscience  there  fell  no 
gentle  dew  of  peace. 

What  could  I do  in  such  extremity?  Leave  the  Order?  1 loved  it 
passionately.  1 knew  that  its  members  were  unworthy,  but  I desired  to 
uphold  its  pristine  purity.  I prayed,  I consulted  venerable  Bishops,  my 


1i5 

personal  friends,  who  found  themselves  much  perplexed  as  tothecounse, 
to  be  given  me. 

The  affairs  of  the  Order  had  become  more  and  more  stormy  and 
desperate  when  it  was  abandoned  by  Reverend  llernabe  de  Astorga 
first  Counsel  of  the  General  of  the  Order,  who  to-day  is  Chaplain  of  the 
Nuns  of  Cadiz,  and  by  the  Father  Cayetano  de  Ignalado,  Se<  retar) 
General,  Father  Pablo  de  l’.ehar,  Superior  of  the  Convent  ot  Leon,  and 
other  eminent  and  respectable  Fathers. 

At  this  juncture  the  Custodian  of  Missions  in  Colombia  arrived  in 
Spain.  He  came  to  obtain  Friars  for  the  Missions  in  that  country. 

One  night,  being  at  prayer,  it  appeared  to  me  that  all  my  sufferings 
were  because  I had  been  called  ot  God  to  serve  him  as  a missionary. 

1 laid  my  desire  before  Rome,  and  received  answer  that  even  if  my 
health  should  permit,  there  was  no  case  in  which  a Superior  should  leave 
his  proper  Convent  for  this  object 

Seeing  that  nothing  could  be  gained  from  my  Superiors,  1 resolved 
to  write  directly  to  his  Holiness,  telling  him  that  the  sad  events  which 
were  discovered  in  our  Order  with  oppressive  frequency  had  laid  upon 
me  the  necessity  of  leaving  the  Order  or  of  entirely  losing  my  faith. 
“Which  last  is  so  abhorrent  to  me,  that  I pray  Heaven  1 might  pass 
through  a thousand  deaths,  if  it  were  possible,  rather  than  pass  through 
such  an  experience.  While  in  prayer  to  God  that  he  would  give  me  to 
know  His  holy  will  in  this  matter,  my  desire  to  consecrate  my  life  for 
the  good  of  the  poor  Indians  and  the  benighted  people  of  South 
America,  arose  anew  within  me. 

“Having  submitted  my  desire  to  my  Superiors,  and  received  a refusal 
without  other  reason  than  their  excessive  tenderness  for  me,  I presume 
to  present  this  desire  to  your  Holiness  in  order  that  such  an  extraordi- 
nary proposal  may  be  placed  in  the  hands  of  God,  and  you  may  decree 
that  which  is  in  accordance  with  the  Divine  Will.” 

Within  a few  days  I received  a decree  from  the  Sacred  Congregation 
of  the  Propoganda  Fide,  signed  by  the  Cardinal  Ledochowski,  in  which 
they  appointed  me  Apostolic  Missionary.  Shortly  thereafter,  we  sailed 
for  Columbia. 

It  would  be  impossible  for  me  to  express  the  conflicting  emotions  of 
my  heart  when  the  steamer,  ploughing  majestically  the  high  seas,  left  the 
shores  of  Spain  to  convey  me  to  those  other  shores,  the  sight  of  which 
caused  the  anxious  heart  of  Columbus  to  leap  for  joy,  and  lifted  his 
soul  with  gratitude  to  Heaven. 


14 


My  heart  had  been  sorely  bruised,  but  nevertheless  hope  rose  anew 
within  me — a hope  to  find  outside  of  the  dark  conditions  of  my  Order 
the  long  sought  peace  of  soul  ; and  my  joy  was  unbounded.  But  on 
arriving  at  the  end  of  my  voyage  I perceived  my  error.  The  Monks  in 
Columbia  « ere  in  worse  condition  than  those  of  Spain. 

The  Custodian  had  his  residence  in  Rio  Hacha,  having  built  in  that 
town  a convent  and  church  with  the  donations  drawn  from  Spain  in  a 
most  scandalous  manner,  asour  readers  can  see  in  another  paper  entitled 
“ The  Poverty  of  the  Convents,”  which  we  think  to  publish  shortly  if  cir- 
cumstances permit. 

Meantime,  other  Monks  passed  a life  of  heroic  sacrifice  among  the 
Indians,  without  more  to  eat  than  some  few  fruits  such  as  they  could 
find,  and  the  scant  supply  of  milk  which  the  Indians  gave  them;  without 
other  covering  than  the  vault  of  heaven,  or  other  bed  than  a poor 
hammock. 

The  Custodian  and  his  secretary  lived  in  a city  without  troubling 
themselves  about  the  mission,  and  drawing  from  the  Columbian  Govern- 
ment the  salary  of  all  the  Missionaries.  The  lives  of  the  Custodian  and 
his  Secretary  and  Father  Pedro  de  Mira,  his  Counsellor,  were  scandalous 
in  the  extreme. 

I have  in  my  possession  several  letters  of  the  most  reprehensible  char- 
acter written  to  Father  Pedro.  In  view  of  the  state  in  which  the  affairs 
of  the  Order  were  found,  I commanded  the  Monks,  each  one  to  address 
me  a letter  exposing  all  the  scandals  which  attached  to  these  three  prin- 
cipal Monks.  „ 

These  letters  accompanied  by  another  of  my  own  I sent  to  Rome.  To 
my  great  surprise,  instead  of  receiving  a decision  such  as  was  to  be  ex- 
pected, 1 was  told  to  discipline  my  Monks  ifi  order  that  they  should  not 
become  accustomed  to  pass  judgment  on  their  Superiors  ! 

The  affairs  of  my  Mission  obliged  me  to  convene  a chapter,  in  which  1 
discovered  the  motive  which  prevented  Rome  from  treating  the  case  as 
justice  required. 

The  Custodian  received  from  the  Government  a great  sum,  and 
another  from  the  Market  of  Guagiro.  Besides,  he  drew  regularly  for  six 
years,  the  money  for  an  orphanage  which  was  never  in  existence,  and  also 
the  salary  for  a school  teacher  in  every  village  of  the  Indians,  where  in 
reality  there  were  no  schools.  This  money,  with  other  funds  collected  in 
different  ways,  all  went  to  Rome, — excellent  means  of  holding  power. 


15 


In  January,  1893,  the  Ministry  of  Public  Instruction  published  a com- 
plaint against  the  Capuchins,  which  the  curious  reader  can  see  it  he  so 
desire. 

In  Harranquilla  the  papers  published  another  scandal  which  gave  u> 
much  trouble  to  conceal.  These  facts,  now  notorious,  contributed 
powerfully  to  disgrace  the  order  and  its  members.  The  result  was  to 
plunge  me  in  profound  grief. 

All  the  good  Monks,  who  saw  the  scandals  of  the  people  of  Rio 
Hacha  and  other  towns,  wrote  to  me  and  I had  the  disagreeable  duty  of 
telling  them  I did'not  see  any  other  remedy  than  that  of  prayer,  since  I 
had  lost  faith  in  Rome  to  such  a degree  that  I could  have  no  hope  of 
any  assistance  from  that  source. 

In  December,  1894,  all  the  Capuchin  Monks  of  Colombia,  assembled 
in  Rio  Hacha.  and  there  we  considered  various  questions  regarding 
certain  unjust  penalties  imposed  by  the  Custodian  upon  his  Monks. 
Thereupon,  instead  of  sending  an  account  of  the  state  of  the  missions 
to  Rome,  1 sent  a letter  in  the  following  terms: 

Considering  tiie  impotence  of  Rome  to  avert  the  total  ruin  which 
menaces  our  Order  ; having  assured  myself  that  the  actual  evils  of  which 
we  are  openly  accused  owe  their  origin  directly  or  indirectly  to  the  high 
functionaries  of  the  Order  in  Rome,  1 confined  myself  solely  to  the 
petition  to  be  separated,  unconditionally  and  at  once,  from  the  Order; 
and  in  case  of  refusal,  I should  be  obliged  to  adopt  other  means  for  my 
relief,  which  would  in  no  way  better  the  reputation  of  Rome,  albeit  they 
would  be  in  accord  with  the  most  sacred  convictions  of  my  conscience 

Without  being  able  to  wait  for  an  answer,  and  in  order  to  obtain  better 
means  of  communication  with  Rome,  I moved  my  residence  to  Barran- 
quilla,  on  the  tenth  of  January,  1895,  taking  with  me  eight  Monks. 

During  my  residence  in  Barranquilla  I corresponded  with  other 
Monks  who  agreed  with  me  to  leave  the  Order. 

I was  sorely  troubled  that  I did  not  know  what  system  of  belief  to 
adopt  for  myself  and  my  friends.  The  Dogmas  of  Rome  were  rejected 
by  my  reason  and  repugnant  to  my  conscience.  My  torture  became 
extreme.  According  to  my  strict  religious  education  I was  now  an  out- 
cast ; but  for  what,  O 'my  God  ! What  more  could  I have  done  than  I 
did  ? 

As  a man  of  society  I had  left  all  to  follow  God,  when  I might  well 


10 


entertain  worldly  aspirations  ; as  a Monk,  what  distinguished  honors 
and  rewards,  when  I chose  the  hard  life  of  a Missionary  ! 

Could  God  abandon  me  to  such  a lamentable  state  while  my  heart 
was  seeking  all  the  more  to  merge  my  will  in  His?  Impossible!  Should 
I end  by  losing  faith  in  the  Pope  and  in  his  religion'  I did  not  be- 
lieve them,  and  yet  day  and  night  I wept  bitterly  because  I thought 
that  inseperable  from  that  religion  was  the  God  of  my  dearest  mother, 
whom  I loved  with  all  my  soul.  L remembered  her  piety,  her  vir- 
tues and  counsels  ; and  finding  myself  so  far  from  thinking  what  1 had 
thought  while  she  was  still  living,  I sank  overcome  in  a sea  of  doubt  and 
sorrow. 

1 ought  now  to  say  that,  without  knowing  why,  after  having  devoted 
myself  for  some  time  with  intense  interest  to  the  study  of  the  Bible  in 
the  Vulgate  version,  and  having  seen  in  it  my  conduct  justified,  1 re- 
solved to  teach  the  Bible  only,  using  no  commentaries  of  any  kind.  In 
all  my  public  sermons  and  private  instruction  in  the  confessional,  I 
sought  to  inculcate  my  ideas. 

Some  of  the  Monks  noted  this  and  warned  me  that  I was  becoming 
very  liberal.  Up  to  this  time  I had  never  thought  of  becoming  a Prot- 
estant for  the  simple  reason  that,  according  to  what  I had  read,  Protes- 
tantism could  never  satisfy  the  longings  of  my  heart.  I needed  to  love 
the  God  my  mother  loved,  a God  all  love  and  goodness,  who  in  better 
spheres  had  prepared  for  us  eternal  mansions,  where  our  dear  ones 
should  be  united  with  us  sometime  to  part  no  more. 

I also  needed  a religion  which  should  have  for  its  foundation  Divine 
Truth,  and  one  which  should  be  accompanied  by  the  sweetest  Liberty, 
and  holy  Equality  andjmman  Brotherhood  ; and  this  religion  1 did  not 
think  to  find  in  Protestantism,  according  to  the  ideas  I had  received 
from  the  Roman  Apologists. 

For  this  reason,  to  become  a disciple  of  the  pure  Gospel  1 supposed 
would  place  me  alone  in  the  midst  of  the  world,  looking  forward  to  an 
impossible  Utopia. 

One  day,  returning  from  a visit  a to  sick  person,  the  wind  wafted  over 
the  sandy  street,  a loose  leaf,  which  fell  right  before  my  feet.  1 took  it 
tip  and  saw  that  it  contained  a hymn  with  music,  its  author  no  other 
than  the  much  persecuted  Father  J.  B.  Cabrera,  an  ex-Escolapian,  now 
the  Protestant  Bishop  of  Madrid.  Without  stopping  to  read  the  leaflet, 
1 hid  it  in  my  pocket,  and  turned  anxiously  towards  my  home. 

There  I shut  myself  in  my  room  and  began  to  read  the  hymn.  It  is 


17 


beyond  my  utmost  power  to  say  how  deeply  my  heart  was  impressed 
by  the  finding  of  this  precious  treasure.  My  soul  was  full.  Now  I 
did  not  stand  alone  in  the  world.  I saw  that  outside  of  the  Church  of 
Rome,  which  imposes  doctrines  repugnant  to  reason,  and  corrupts  so 
many  souls  in  the  name  of  God,  there  existed  true  believers  in  my  Moth- 
er's God  for  whom  my  soul  thirsted. 

From  that  day  I was  happy.  As  my  soul  could  no  longer  continue 
in  such  violent  agitation.  I took  steps  toward  realizing  my  new  ideals. 

During  the  night  I wrote  an  order  for  all  the  Monks  to  proceed  to 
Caracas,  under  pretext  of  the  Revolution  in  Colombia.  I remained 
alone  in  Barranquiila  with  a Lay  Brother.  From  that  time  I employed 
every  occasion  to  investigate  Protestantism  and  Protestants,  but  no  one 
could  give  me  any  satisfactory  information. 

One  day  there  came  a Beata  (a  woman  blindly  devoted  to  the  Church 
and  Priests)  to  me  for  confession,  and  I at  once  asked  her  if  she  ever 
had  the  misfortune  to  speak  at  any  time  with  Protestants,  or  with  per- 
sons who  had  any  relation  with  them.  The  Beata  hesitated  and  ans- 
wered me.  “Father  I have  a sister  who  has  some  Protestant  books.  ” 

“How  is  that?”  said  I.  “Can  you  sleep  tranquil,  with  that  deadly 
poison  of  the  soul  near  you,  in  your  house  ? Go  without  delay,  and 
bring  me  those  books.  I can  give  you  no  absolution,  before  you  bring 
them  to  me.” 

The  Beata  departed,  and  after  a short  time  returned  with  a New 
Testament,  a Bible,  a hymn  book  and  a tract  entitled  “ Lucilla.”  I gave 
her  absolution,  and  went  immediately  to  my  house. 

All  that  day  I spent  locked  in  my  room  comparing  the  Bible  with  my 
own.  The  translation  was  most  faithful,  and  had  none  of  those  errors 
alleged  by  Roman  authors  to  exist.  The  only  difference  was  the 
absence  of  the  Apocryphal  Books. 

What  are  the  Apocryphal  Books  ? What  end  do  they  serve  5 For 
several  days,  I devoted  myself  exclusively  to  the  study  of  these  books. . 
The  Roman  Church  teaches  us  that  the  Reformers  rejected  them  for 
the  sole  reason  that  they  were  in  conflict  with  their  Protestant  system  of 
belief;  but  after  a careful  study  I inferred  that,  if  Luther  had  lacked 
that  faith  which  impelled  him  to  acheive  some  of  the  greatest  works 
which  the  human  mind  has  accomplished,  he  would  necessarily  avail 
himself  of  the  aid  of  such  books  to  establish  a worldly  cause. 

In  a word,  the  Apocryphal  books,  if  they  are  necessary  to  sustain  the 


18 


power  of  any  man,  are  proved  useless  in  a Divine  cause,  and  even  in 
many  cases  would  be  destructive  to  the  purity  of  religion. 

In  this  conflict  I needed  some  one  who  should  aid  me,  and  who 
better  than  a real  Protestant  ? 

Rome  being  so  full  of  intrigues,  fallacies  and  perversities  may  be  false 
and  perverse  when  speaking  of  Protestantism;  on  the  other  hand,  I read 
the  hymns,  and  said  to  myself,  “ impossible  that  a community  which 
expresses  itself  in  such  hymns  should  be  corrupt.  I will  speak  with  the 
Protestant  pastor  himself.” 

But  how  ? In  Paraguaipoa,  a little  hamlet  near  Maracaibo  and  sub- 
ject to  its  jurisdiction  there  was  a Capuchin  Monk  in  whom  I had  perfect 
confidence,  and  of  whom  I could  avail  myself  in  all  cases  of  difficulty 
That  very  day  I sent  him  an  order  to  come  without  delay  to  Barran- 
quilla.  He  arrived  within  a few  days. 

I told  him  nothing  the  first  day,  except  that  I,  not  liking  to  remain 
alone,  had  decided  to  close  the  residence  in  Paraguaipoa  for  some  time. 
I despatched  an  order  to  two  Monks  who  remained  there  to  remove  to 
Rio  Hacha  and  to  put  themselves  under  the  order  of  the  Custodian 
until  further  notice. 

The  following  day  I called  to  my  office  the  Monk  alluded  to,  and  after 
imposing  upon  him  entire  secrecy,  which  the  case  demanded,  I revealed 
my  desire  and  entrusted  to  him  my  commission,  which  was  no  other  than 
to  go  and  speak  with  the  Protestant  minister. 

At  first  I did  not  tell  him  my  real  purpose,  and  he,  thinking  there  was 
a matter  for  secret  investigation  in  order  to  write  something  against 
Protestantism,  made  no  objection.  I commissioned  “ Beata  ” to  buy  a 
suit  of  citizens’  clothes,  and  that  she  might  not  suspect  anything,  I told 
her  that  on  account  of  the  Revolution,  I had  to  direct  certain  secret 
measures. 

At  last  the  supreme  moment  came  for  taking  one  of  the  most  extra- 
ordinary steps  of  my  life;  for  the  first  time  there  fell  upon  me  the  curse 
of  the  Pope,  and  his  excommunication  destroyed  forever  the  “virtues” 
which  with  so  much  care  my  own  sweet  Mother  had  sown  in  my  heart. 

It  was  nine  o’clock  at  night  when,  by  a secret  door,  and  dressed  in 
citizens  clothes,  my  chosen  helper  left  the  house  of  the  Capuchins.  I 
myself  opened  the  door  for  him,  and  whispered,  “Courage  and  prudence!’’ 
as  1 parted  from  him  in  the  street.  The  rays  of  the  sinking  moon  were 
kissing  the  hills  for  the  last  time,  leaving  the  earth  wrapped  in  the  black- 
ness of  night.  My  heart  beat  with  such  violence  and  so  filled  my  whole 


19 


breast  as  to  almost  stifle  me ; the  moments  appeared  to  me  ages,  and 
scarcely  had  my  emissary  turned  the  first  corner  before  I began  to  be 
anxious  for  his  return. 

It  would  be  impossible  to  describe  all  that  passed  through  my  mind  in 
that  time  of  waiting.  Anxiety  possessed  me,  and  in  every  direction  I 
looked  with  uncertainty.  Am  I a criminal?  I said  to  myself  “no,  for 
m v conscience  remains  tranquil.”  What  do  I fear  ? There  is  nothing  for 
me  to  fear  ! 

I was  filled  with  longing  to  discern  the  form  of  my  beloved  Mother,  in 
order  to  read  in  her  face  whether  perchance  she  approved  my  designs. 

Deep  sighs  escaped  from  me,  as  the  time  dragged  on  interminably. 

* * * * Now  it  seemed  to  me  that  I saw  my  messenger  in  prison 
and  the  town  in  an  uproar  with  the  news  that  a disguised  Capuchin  had 
been  caught  by  the  police  in  the  house  of  the  Protestant  missionary. 

* * * * Already  I seemed  to  hear  the  sad  news  that  Protestantism 
could  not  satisfy  the  aspirations  of  my  soul.  I cried  to  Heaven  and 
fervently  besought  a happy  issue  out  of  my  distress,  and  above  all,  the 
Divine  Grace,  to  do  in  everything  and  always  the  will  of  my  God. 

At  last  an  almost  imperceptible  sound  was  heard — the  concerted 
signal. 

With  anxious  haste  I opened  the  door  silently,  and  until  three  o’clock 
in  the  mornjng  I held  my  companion  in  close  conference. 

The  following  day  I received  a letter  from  Rome  in  which  I was  told 
to  forward  an  order  to  the  Custodian  to  present  himself  without  delay  at 
the  Capital  of  the  Catholic  world  ; and  I was  assured  that  he  would  not 
return  to  Colombia,  and  that  if  I desisted  from  my  effort  to  be  made  a 
secular  priest,  the  news  of  which  had  been  received  in  Rome  with 
greatest  astonishment,  I should  be  made  Custodian,  provided  I obtained 
from  his  Holiness  a dispensation  on  account  of  my  youth,  the  required 
age  being  at  least  forty-two  years. 

This  letter  I answered  from  “Christ’s  Mission,”  in  New  York. 

After  studying  carefully  all  that  my  companion  had  told  me  with 
regard  to  my  now  beloved  Brother,  Mr.  Pond,  I again  commissioned  him 
to  go  by  night  and  ask  for  a Bible,  an  exact  copy  of  that  which  he  him- 
self used,  and  for  his  creed,  and  to  obtain  his  reply  to  certain  questions 
concerning  his  concept  of  human  dignity  and  liberty.  At  the  same  time 
I sent  to  Mr.  Pond  a poem  on  liberty,  in  order  that  he  might  see  in  it 
my  own  ideas,  and  might  tell  me  if  they  agreed  with  his. 


20 


When  my  companion  returned,  I had  the  immense  satisfaction  of 
knowing  that  Mr.  Pond  was  just  such  a counsellor  as  I longed  for. 

His  conversation  and  intercourse  soon  dispelled  from  my  mind  all 
prejudice  against  Protestantism. 

Within  a few  days  I had  the  pleasure  of  receiving  Mr.  Pond  in  my 
house,  with  all  precautions  which  the  case  required  and  under  protec- 
tion of  the  darkness  of  night.  In  our  interview  no  point  of  polemics 
was  discussed.  I confined  myself  to  asking  if  the  Bible  were  really  the 
rule  upon  which  the  Protestants  based  their  conduct,  and  receiving  his 
answer  in  the  affirmative,  I said,  “I  am  a Protestant.” 

After  this  interview  my  sermons  treated  of  the  Scripture  as  the 
supreme  authority.  This  doctrine  I preached  in  the  Church  of  the  San 
Rosario,  and  in  the  Cathedral  of  San  Nicholas,  in  presence  of  a great 
congregation. 

Whether  by  reason  of  public  manifestations  of  my  faith,  or  because  of 
my  private  conversations  in  which  I had  declared  that  neither  Pope  nor 
ceremonial  observances  can  avail  ; that  only  faith  within  our  souls,  in- 
spired by  the  Spirit,  fed  by  the  word  of  God,  can  save;  certain  it  is  that 
I received  a letter  from  the  Bishop  of  Cartagena,  who  was  my  friend  in- 
viting me  to  a personal  interview. 

This  appeared  to  me  the  best  occasion  for  leaving  fhe  Monastery, 
which  I at  once  arranged  to  do.  Remembering  that  the  Mouks  would 
deprive  me  of  my  manuscript,  as  they  had  done  in  the  case  of  others  ; 
and  not  being  able  to  remove  my  trunks  with  me  because  of  the  Revo* 
lution,  I deposited  all  my  effects  in  the  house  of  a friend  whom  I 
informed  that,  from  that  moment  he  was  to  regard  me  as  having  of  my 
own  will  abandoned  th'e  life  of  a Monk,  and  for  this  reason  he  should 
not  surrender  my  trunks  to  anyone  nor  permit  any  one  to  search  them. 
I ordered  the  Lay  Brother  to  go  to  Rio  Hacha,  and  took  with  me  the 
Monk  before  mentioned. 

Arrived  at  Cartagena,  the  Bishop  said  nothing  particular  to  us.  Very 
friendly  with  me,  as  he  had  always  had  been,  he  placed  at  my  disposal 
an  apartment  in  his  palace.  One  thing  seemed  to  me  strange,  as  being 
contrary  to  his  custom.  He  sent  my  companion  to  the  Seminary  to 
lodge. 

At  night  the  Bishop  and  I remained  together  for  a long  time,  discus- 
sing the  affairs  of  the  Capuchins  and  the  conduct  of  certain  Monks  and 
others. 

I then  declared  myself  determined  to  leave  the  Order  (My  intentions 


2\ 


was  to  leave  the  Church  of  Rome.)  I remained  with  the  Bishop  eigh 
days  aiding  him  in  the  services  of  Holy  week,  and  preaching. 

Two  days  after  Easter  I took  my  leave  to  go  to  Curazao. 

At  our  parting  we  both  wept,  I for  thinking  of  the  disappointment  the 
venerable  prelate  would  feel — he,  from  whom  I had  received  so  many 
proofs  of  affection  ; and  he  at  the  thought  that,  from  Curazao,  I would 
go  to  Spain,  and  so  lost  all  hope  of  seeing  me  again. 

There  are  moments  in  life  so  agonizing  that  no  pen  can  represent 
them.  When  I parted  from  the  Bishop  I experienced  a sharper  and 
bitter  conflict  of  spirit  than  any  I had  yet  suffered.  The  Grace  which 
I had  received  in  Barranquilla  seemed  to  be  withdrawn,  and  I again 
suffered  that  weakness  of  heart  which  too  frequently  proves  to  be  the 
hidden  shoal  where  on  our  noblest  purposes  run  aground,  or  are  totally 
wrecked.  My  whole  horizon  seemed  to  gather  blackness,  from  my 
purposed  “ Apostacy,”  and  frightened  me  almost  to  the  abandoning  of 
all  my  plans.  I sank  farther  and  farther  into  the  depths  ; at  the  very- 
lowest  deep  of  my  dejection,  there  clearest  I heard  an  inner  voice,  say- 
ing, “Forward  ! die  Martyr’s  death  is  a thousand  times  preferable  to  the 
life  of  a hypocrite  ! ” 

At  last,  on  board  the  steamer,  I met  several  friends  who,  because  of 
political  complications  felt  obliged  to  imigrate  to  the  hospitable  Isle 
whither  I was  also  bound. 

Several  hours  before  landing  I put  off  my  Monkish  garb,  shaved 
away  the  “sacred”  tousure,  and  put  on  citizens'  dress. 

On  the  steamer  ticket,  I had  written  mv  original  secular  name,  think- 
ing thereby  to  escape  notice  on  arriving  at  Curazao. 

* But  looking  over  the  published  list  of  passengers,  the  Spanish  Consul 
there,  who  knew  several  members  of  my  family,  noted  my  arrival  and 
paid  me  a visit  at  the  hotel  ; and  himself  informed  the  Bishop  of  Curazao 
of  my  arrival.  The  Bishop  that  very  afternoon  paid  me  a visit  and  in- 
vited me  to  lodge  at  his  palace,  which  however  I could  not  do,  for  the 
simple  reason  that  according  to  the  instructions  of  Rev.  Mr.  Pond  of 
Barranquilla,  I had  already  written  to  R.  M.  J.  Norwood,  agent  of  the 
American  Bible  Society,  who  was  to  give  me  aid  and  counsel  at  this  all 
important  juncture. 

All  Curazao  was  aware  of  my  presence  despite  all  my  efforts  to 
remain  unobserved.  This  made  my  position  only  more  difficult,  and 
demanded  more  courage  and  will  in  order  to  adopt  a resolute  line  of 
conduct.  I greatly  needed  quiet  in  order  to  mature  all  plans,  and  yet 


22 


I mast  receive  my  friends,  knowing  at  the  same  time  their  suprise  and 
disappointment  to  come. 

Hence  it  seemed  best  to  change  my  hotel  without  disclosing  my  des- 
tination. The  evening  of  the  next  day  I had  the  pleasure  of  seeing 
Rev.  Mr.  Norwood,  who  had  arrived  that  day  in  his  launch.  During 
our  interview  it  was  decided  that  I remove  at  once  to  Mr.  Norwood’s 
house  ; that  the  authorities  be  requested  to  grant  permission  and  pro- 
tection to  announce  publicly  in  the  theatre,  our  renunciation  of  Rome. 
The  permission  was  given. 

After  all  precautions  had  been  taken,  hand-bills  were  scattered  through 
the  town,  which  caused  as  great  a stir  as  if  so  many  cartridges  of  dyna- 
mite had  exploded. 

From  the  moment  of  issuing  the  notices  of  my  separation  from  Rome, 
a stream  of  letters  had  poured  in  upon  me  ; some  of  these  almost  broke 
my  heart,  and  others  I did  not  read  for  fear  they  would  make  me  untrue 
to  my  word  and  my  conscience. 

The  agitation  and  stress  of  my  spirit  can  better  be  imagined  than 
described. 

At  2 p.  m.  I set  out  for  the  Theatre  “ Naar.”  The  spacious  edifice 
was  filled  with  people.  The  first  words  of  my  address  were  received 
with  solicitude  and  silence  which  soon  changed  into  loud  acclamations 
and  applause  so  frequent  as  to  inturrupt  my  speech  at  the  end  of  every 
sentence.  My  address  was  a triumph. 

Meantime  my  fellow-Monk  had  succumbed  to  the  promises,  flatteries, 
importunities  and  lies  of  our  Roman  friends.  He  broke  his  good  prom- 
ises and  failed  to  put  in  an  appearance.  I had  now  also  to  speak  again 
in  the  evening,  in  order  to  fulfil  the  published  program.  At  five  p.  m. 
the  Chief  of  Police  came  to  announce  that  he  had  received  notice  the 
priests  were  prepared  to  make  a disturbance  that  evening,  and  he  coun- 
selled me  not  to  go  into  the  street  until  the  arrival  of  an  escort  of  police. 

The  hour  was  at  hand  and  I withdrew  to  my  room  to  offer  myself  in 
sacrifice  to  God. 

I reached  the  Theatre  and  had  not  spoken  two  sentences,  when  there 
arose  great  confusion  and  outcries,  which  seemed  to  increase  every 
moment.  The  police  on  one  hand  and  the  protestations  of  the  general 
indignation  on  the  other,  against  this  outrage,  made  it  impossible  to 
speak. 

Several  arrests  were  made,  and  order  being  restored,  at  request  of  the 


23 


audience  I continued  my  speech  to  the  end.  On  leaving  the  Theatre, 
stones  were  thrown  at  me,  but  did  not  reach  me. 

Yielding  to  the  supplications  of  my  fellow-Monk,  I resolved  to  go  to 
the  Episcopal  palace  to  have  an  interview  with  the  Bishops.  Having 
been  previously  invited,  the  principal  Ecclesiastics  and  persons  of  im- 
portance in  the  Island  were  there  awaiting  me. 

The  first  act  of  this  conference  was  to  demand  that  I sign  a writing, 
which  was  “ a recantation  of  my  utterances  upon  the  true  and  only 
authority  in  matters  of  faith  and  practice  ; the  Holy  Scriptures — a pro- 
test that  the  discourse  in  the  Theatre  was  exacted  of  me  by  threats  and 
violence  from  Mr.  Norwood,  and  a declaration  that,  fearing  that  the 
persecution  of  the  sects  which  Mr.  Norwood  could  direct  against  mej 
J now  voluntarily  placed  myself  in  the  hands  of  the  Bishop,  that  1 might 
live  in  retirement  ; and  to  this  intent  I prayed  the  Civil  Authorities  to 
.forego  an  investigation  as  to  my  person  and  conduct.  ” 

When  this  paper  was  read  to  me,  I was  filled  with  indignation,  and 
said  with  great  resolution  : “Gentlemen,  if  I had  not  ample  evidence 

that  the  religion  of  Rome  is  not  true,  rather  that  it  is  rotten  to  the  core, 
full  of  intrigues  and  falsehood,  this  very  attempt  to  deceive  me,  would 
fully  confirm  my  opinion.  Therefore  let  none  of  you  regard  as  strange 
my  withdrawal  from  Rome  without  further  delay.” 

This  said  I at  once  left  the  conference,  and  that  evening  sailed  for 
La  Guaira  in  the  company  of  Rev.  Mr.  Norwood  and  General  Mac. 
Pherson,  of  the  Venezuelan  army.  Both  in  LaGuaira  and  in  Caracas  I 
had  a great  reception.  Never  can  I forget  the  attentions  with  which 
the  authorities  honored  me.  The  hotel  was  guarded,  that  no  one  should 
intrude  upon  me  ; while  both  the  American  Legation  and  the  Spanish 
Minister  laid  me  under  lasting  obligation  by  their  unstinted  kindness 
and  courtesy. 

Several  days  passed  in  quiet,  meantime,  so  urgent  were  the  requests 
of  former  friends  to  see  me,  that  I could  but  give  one  day  to  receptions, 
but  so  was  I troubled  and  distressed  by  their  supplications  and  tearst 
that  I was  at  last  obliged  to  refuse  to  see  anyone.  That  I might  obtain 
a greater  quiet,  an  apartment  at  the  American  Legation  was  placed  at 
my  disposal,  which  I occupied  for  a few  days.  The  Arch  Bishop  my 
personal  friend,  desiring  to  see  ine,  and  not  being  able  to  do  so,  availed 
himself  of  the  civil  authorities  to  accomplish  this  object. 

One  evening  the  Governor  and  I were  at  the  Episcopal  Palace.  The 
interview  was  important.  The  Bishop  respected  my  opinion  but  he 


•24 


regretted  my  separation.  This  sincere  friendship  for  me  was  proven  in 
this  act,  and  I feel  assured  that  this  will  unite  us  always,  even  unto 
death. 

I now  needed  two  principal  things,  first  to  separate  myself  from  so 
many  friends,  intercourse  with  whom  broke  my  heart,  and  second  to  see 
in  good  time  a Protestant  people,  whose  exemplification  of  Christian 
virtues  should  be  an  object-lesson  to  encourage  and  confirm  me  in  the 
justice  of  my  course.  At  the  first  opportunity  1 turned  to  this  noble 
American  people,  betaking  myself  to  the  protecting  folds  of  its  broad 
flag,  which  to-day  I love  as  if  it  had  floated  above  my  cradle.  Having 
enrolled  my  name  as  member  of  one  of  the  churches,  and  having  regis- 
tered as  an  intended  citizen  of  the  United  States,  my  all  absorbing  de- 
sire is  that  with  the  Gospel  faith  of  the  American  people  in  my  heart, 
and  their  loved  banner  waving  over  my  head,  I may  return  to  the  peopM 
of  Colombia  to  teach  them  that,  in  this  generation,  a nation  increases  in 
true  greatness,  only  in  proportion  as  it  frees  itself  from  the  crushing 
yoke  of  Popes,  Priests  and  Monks,  and  adopts  the  only  true  faith,  that 
of  the  free  Evangelical  Sons  of  North  America.  For  their  faith  in  an 
open  Gospel  is  the  eternal  and  only  foundation  of  their  religious  and 
civil  liberty  and  their  proud  distinction  among  the  nations. 


ENT” 


■dr  Tr> 


i 


By  the  Same  Author 


“THREE  PHASES  OF  LIFE,” 

A Tale,  in  which,  for  the  first  time  are  exhibited  Documents 
from  the  secret  Archives  of  certain  Convents,  exposing  the 
Intrigues  and  Persecutions  directed  against  the  Spanish  “Re- 
formers” by  the  Monastic  Orders. 


“ FRAY  LEANDRO,  THE  ALMONER 
OF  MY  CONVENT,” 

A Tale  illustrating  the  “ Poverty  of  Monastics.” 


“THE  INTERIOR  OF  MY  CONVENT” 

i . 

The  Truth  as  to  the  Morals  of  Monastics  ; and  as  to  their  In- 
fluence on  National  Politics. 


The  Data  and  Documents  on  which  the  above  works  are  based 
are  of  the  greatest  interest  and  importance,  as  they  are  derived 
from  the  highest  eources. 


